THE MAIL BAG (I Respond To Everyone! Hit me up. Please?!)
Dear Ben,
I've enjoyed all your books. But your picture is distracting. And when are you coming to San Francisco? I'd like to take you out for drinks.
Your fan, Bobby
Dear Bobby,
Thanks. I know how you feel. I distract myself with my picture (or in the bathroom mirror) too. Does that sound egotistical? Can't help it. Beauty is only skin deep, but I guess I've got good skin genes. In real life I'm just a down-to-earth guy who wants to touch and be touched. like everyone else. Caress my nips and I'm yours! I want to love and be loved. But thanks for noticing!
Thanks also for reading my books! That's really cool of you! I work really hard to make them as fun and sexy as possible. My editor keeps asking for "more sex!" Frankly, he's super cute, so I wish he wasn't just talkin' 'bout Chapter Twelve! But that's another story (or novel)!
My next book tour includes San Francisco (and a buncha places in the Bay Area). I'll keep you posted, okay? And it would be really great to have drinks with you. Thanks so much! Keep in touch! You sound really cool!
I'm your fan, too! Ben
Dear Mr. Ben Tyler,
I met a friend of yours. He said you guys used to be lovers. I probably shouldn't mention his name. I have to say, he may be nice to look at, but he's the most self-absorbed asshole I've ever met. Why did you two get together?
Sincerely, Mark
Hi, Mark!
Thanks for taking the time to write. You must be talking about Jimmy. He was the first man I ever loved. Yeah, he gives narcissism new meaning! What can I say? I was young. He was hot. But the son of a bitch cheated on me so often I had to get away. (Imagine waking up at 2:00 a.m. and finding your boyfriend in the next bedroom with some dude he picked up off the street? That REALLY happened to me! You can read about it in "Tricks of the Trade."
I was very naive. He made me grow up. So I guess I have thank him for making me stronger. ("The one who done me wrong ... The one who done me wrong in Little Rock.") He was a total dick! That was a really dark time. I have no defense. I was in love with an asshole (um, euphemistically speaking!). But I got over it!
I'm glad you asked that question. And as my readers know, I'm very frank when it comes to discussing my personal history. I reveal myself in most of my books. I'm always the good guy! Ha!